


Vow to Change

by GunATPsdimple



Category: offgun babii
Genre: Character Death, M/M, New Beginnings, Pain, recoverry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29759133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GunATPsdimple/pseuds/GunATPsdimple
Summary: Losing someone is never easy. When it's someone close to you it's even harder to cope. Off begins pushing the people he loves away.......
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Kudos: 5





	Vow to Change

**Author's Note:**

> this is super cringe for me to read its an old work that's badly written, but as I move from Wattpad to here I wanted to keep. my one shots incase people still want to read .. so yea don't judge me haha

Everyone stood dressed in black infront of the casket as the rain poured down on to us. You could hear sniffles as people clung to one another saying their final goodbyes to him. I didn't do well with this type of thing so I stood still silently counting the drops falling down before it was finally time to lower the casket. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as everyone slowly walked back to their cars. Just like that it was all over and he would never be coming back to us. Turning back to take a final look I noticed someone still kneeling so I walked over slowly making sure my steps were heard. He looked up to me after some time and I moved closer. I leaned down wrapping my arms around his shoulder and the mask he wore broke. His shoulder shook as he cried harder than I had ever seen before letting it all out. I don't know how long we stayed there, but I had a gut feelings things were about to change for the worst.

*A few months past*

I walked up to the security desk before he let me by without being buzzed up. It was apart of my routine at this point and he knew I meant no harm. I walked to the elevator taking it up to the floor I needed. Stepping out I walked up to the door preparing my mind and heart for what I was about to be met with. I used my key letting myself in immediately seeing the mess and sighing. I placed the bags of food I made down before cleaning up. Once I finished, I made my way to the bedroom. As usual the lights were off with the curtain closed. I walked over opening them then walked over yankling the covers back.

"Get up and wash I brought you some lunch. Don't make me do it myself ... you know I will." He groaned getting up and I walked out to warm up the food. After about twenty minutes I was met with a face of a person I hardly could recognize now.

"Why do you insist on coming when I tell you I don't need you to do so?" I sighed ignoring the question.

"Here Papi eat the food before it gets cold. I made it just how you like it."

"I'm not hungry Gun." I gulped turning my back to him gripping the counter.

"Just please eat and I promise not to stay long". I heard him start to eat but i still felt a pain in my chest. Once he finished I cleaned out my bowls and sat on the couch. He got up and sat on the love seat waiting for me to start talking.

"What do you wanna try and get me to do today?"

"Listen Papi I just want you to get back to living your life ok? It's not healthy how you sit in here all day eating junk and drinking. It's been months he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." He twisted his face and I prepared myself for the blow

"You don't know what he would've wanted because he isn't freaking here anymore now is he?" I sighed.

"Papi trust me I know how you're feeling, but there's two ways to go through losing someone. The way you're choosing eventually only leads to negative outcomes."

His eyes glared at me with a look that could kill. "You know how I feel ? You weren't close to him like I was .. Yea you were friends but we were brothers. Blood couldn't make us any closer. So spare me with your little pep talk bullshit cause all you're doing is making me feel worse at this point."

I felt myself see red and stood up right in his face. " I don't know how YOU feel? Are you fucking kidding me Off?!" He flinched at that and I saw his eyes soften just the tiniest bit realizing his mistake.

"Gun.. wai-."

I shook my head chuckling darkly gathering my things. "You know when my mom died not too long ago might I add I didn't treat you like a piece of shit. You may have lost Tay , but so did many people Off. I lost my mom , then Tay and now slowly it's becoming you." His eyes snapped to me at that part. " You have forgotten about who I had in my corner haven't you? You made sure I was good and even my family , but lately all you do is make my heart feel like it's being shredded in to a million pieces."

I began to tear up and tried my best to hold them back but they just flowed. He stood up feeling guilty and I put my hand out stopping him. " You want to be alone ? I'm setting you free. If it isn't about work act like you don't know me since you've already decided I'm not worthy to be there for you."

"Gun wait no ."

I placed his spare key on the table stepping in to my shoes before opening the door. Without turning back I said one last thing before leaving.

" I know death is rough, but you're choosing to let life pass you by. I hope you get your shit together. Bye Off."

I slammed the door sliding down the other side covering my mouth so my cries couldn't be heard. I let it all out. The tears for my mom , tay and the change in Off. I finally stopped pretending I was okay and just gave in. I stood there for about ten minutes before picking myself up and driving home. I promised myself not to come back.

I stood as a coward while I heard Gun cry. I felt extremely guilty for how insensitive I was to him, but I couldn't face him . My heart broke at how far I had pushed gun away and let my life go. I vowed to make a change no matter how hard it would be.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It had been months since my fallout with Gun and things changed drastically. Just about anyone who knew how close we were asked questions or gave us sad smiles. Most of the sad smiles were directed at me. Gun had become to me what I started off as to him. Anyone who knew how we first began would know I didn't like the kid. Gun didn't even avoid me, he'd just treat me as an insignificant person any chance we happened to end up around each other outside of work. Even though I brought it upon myself, it hurt really bad. I had begun to show my face more, make jokes and just move on from losing Tay. It still hurt, but I was going to be okay. Now my issue was getting Gun to forgive me and allow me in to his life.We had a photo shoot today and I was really hoping we'd get to talk. I even arrived on set super early, yet Gun only showed himself once we were all in places for photos.

"Hey Gun fun shoot idea right?" I smiled at him and he looked nonchalant.

"Hey Off and yea very fun." I sighed. He always kept it short and simple. If you didn't notice I also lost my precious nickname. After two hours of complete frustration we wrapped up since everyone was pleased with the photos. I walked to to the car garage and spotted Gun so like a pathetic fool I approached him.

"Gun! Hey good work back there .. you always take great photos."

He threw his bag in his car and looked at me. " What do you want Off?"

I flinched .. I deserved it but still this side of Gun wasn't fun. "I just want to talk to you. I miss how things were and I know I hurt you , but I'm better now. I just want another chance."

He shook his head. "Listen you don't get to decide when you're allowed to walk in and out of my life. I've adjusted without you... and I don't think I'll ever make space for you to get close to me again. You pushed me away Off so don't make me the bad guy."

I clutched my bag strap looking down before swallowing snapping my head up. "Drive safe Gun .. I'll see you at the next schedule we have." I turned around without looking back as tears welled up in my eyes. Fuck I really was screwed.  
Many people assumed I was a soft cookie , but I damn sure wasn't once you hurt me.. and Pap- Off had hurt me deeply. I sometimes dream about that night we fell out and just cry. Many people ask why I'm not clinging to my "husband" and I laugh saying we aren't even friends anymore. Mama Godji had called me to come to her office after the shoot so I was headed there now. I wondered what she had to tell me.. hopefully it was a new project not involving Off. I arrived at the building heading up to her office before busting in.

"Hey Ma!" She smiled pointing to the seat across from her.

"Sit and tell me why everyone's gossiping about you making Off the non softy except when it comes to gun cry?"

I shrugged. "Beats me I didn't even say anything to him."

She nodded. " Ohhh okay that's it then.You decided you're still not speaking to him after how he treated everyone after Tay passed?"

I folded my arms looking out the window as the sky darkened with clouds forming it looked like a big rainstorm would be coming. "He shut me out and I just stuck to it... I didn't do anything wrong. I'm supposed to feel sorry for him because he decides now that he wants me in his life? Yea not happening."

She rolled her eyes and a loud thunder struck making me jump. "Gun sweetie you remember how he changed himself to allow you to enter his heart? That took time and now that he needed his time before allowing people to continue to be close to him you think it's wrong? That's not fair and you know that you're just holding a grudge against him. I know you and I know you love him.So whats the real issue?"

I sighed. " I told him I was absolutely in love with everything about him before Tay passed and he laughed. I got super embarrassed and punched him in the eye. Instead of getting mad he said he knew and freaking kissed me, then he said it back. We were feeling out testing the waters of the possibility of us you know elevating whatever we already were, but when everything with Tay happened ... it's like he forgot. I needed him too and every time I was there for him .. he'd take a low blow at me. I'm still hurting." I didn't know I teared up until she stood up and came over to embrace me.

"My sweet sassy Gun. I knew you two had something more there and I understand why you're hurting, but you can't let that hurt turn to pettiness. You're holding on to the hurt instead of addressing the issue head on and then deciding if you can let him in again or not. You're an adult gun ... time to act like it."

Rain started pouring from the sky and I got up yelling a quick thank you before running to my car.He lived on the way to mine so I hit the gas speeding during a storm wanting to address the issue with us. It took one conversation for me to see I had began to shut Off out of my life the same way he had with me. I swallowed the lump in my throat praying that he'd be willing to hear me out. I may not have started it , but I definitely fulfilled my end of treating him basically invisible. After enough speeding I arrived parking, running in his building and banging on his door. I banged harder after five minutes passed for Off to open the door in his oversized t-shirt and boxers. He looked at me confused and I threw myself to him latching on.

"I'm sorry Papi... I'm ready to talk."

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Seeing Gun drenched looking frantic at my door had my heart racing. When he threw himself on me and called me Papi .. I almost passed out. I hugged him back before closing the door and walking backwards in to my place. He began to shiver and I pulled back shaking my head.

"You have to get out of these clothes Gun. You're gonna catch a cold go take a shower and I'll leave clothes for you. Go we"ll talk after.

He nodded before going. I grabbed one of my T-shirts' and boxers placing them in the bathroom. I stepped back out and sat on my couch waiting for him to finish. After a few minutes, he came out ...I turned around to meet his gaze and smiling softly. My clothes always looked best on him. I patted the spot next to me. He walked over fidgeting with his fingers and I draped an arm around him grabbing one of his hands in mine interlocking our fingers..

"What made you ready to talk?"

He lightly grinned. "I talked with Ma and she pointed out that I was doing exactly what you did to me a few months ago." I nodded and he faced me swallowing."You hurt me a lot during that time Off."

I flinched at the use of my name .. I hated it. "I know and I can't change it, but I can fix the future. That's the only way I can prove I mean it Gun .. a sorry is useless."

I nodded. "You have to understand how much I needed and missed you. I know you two were extremely close, but so was I. When my mom died you were my rock and as time went on you became my safety. Without you I felt like I was missing a piece of me.. I even told you I was inlove with you."

I frowned. " I said it back after you punched me in the eye for laughing. Gun I was just really messed up. Tay was the one who reassured me of everything. To me you even loving me was something I couldn't fathom. You're so lively and draw people to you, while I'm the opposite."

He teared up and shook his head. "I love how grumpy you are and how you always let me have my way. Papi you've been everything I never thought you could be for me in so many ways. I want to be with you in every way you can think of."

I smiled a genuine smile. "I love you Gun... I never stopped and I'm sorry. You've made me a better person twice now. I'd be happy to make you happy.. forreal this time. May I court you?"

He laughed jumping on my lap. "Yes Papi I love you too, but this time around you're going to have to work even HARDER and then double it. Seriously"

"I will do whatever it takes Gun .. you're worth it."

A loud bang sounded outside causing me to jump and gun to clutch my shirt in his hand. Getting up we went to look out the window to see how bad it was outside, the storm had definitely picked up. It didn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. Shaking my head I closed the blinds grabbing his hand pulling him to my room. I let go laying down opening my arms for him to come lay in them. He hesitated before coming and laying down sighing.

" I missed being like this with you Papi. The warmth and comfort is something I can't get anywhere else."

I held him closer stroking his arms. " You know I only get this way with you. I missed everything about you so bad. Everything going on in my life good or bad, I wanted to tell you.. but I couldn't. It sucked being shunned by you and man you were vicious."

He laughed in my arms and looked up at me. "You thought that I could never be like that to you, so I had to show you. Don't fuck it up again because that was only a little taste of how mean I could be."

I grinned. "Gun ATP isn't as cute as you think...." He glared hitting my chest and I just stared at his face. God he was really freaking pretty and it always threw me off. A blush started to form from his neck to his cheeks and I smirked. "You are so damn beautiful."

His eyes widened and I reached to hold his neck dragging his face down to mine. He tensed a little whispering. "Papi..."

I licked my lips and he followed suit. "Shhhh don't think too much."

I closed the distance fully pushing my lips in to his plump ones. God his lips were so damn soft and full, I nibbled gently on his bottom lip and he gasped. I licked along where I bit before thrusting my tongue in to his mouth. We had kissed a few time prior and trust me Gun knew what he was doing. He swirled his tongue around mine before sucking my lip causing my manhood to jerk. I kissed him harder bringing my hands down to cup his round ass,he jerked against me and I could feel how hard he was. I groaned as we began to slip in to a rhythm twisting our heads , biting , licking , sucking and groping each other everywhere possible. Another loud band erupted outside and I snapped my eyes open pulling back from gun. His lips were swollen as he was panting trying to catch his breath. I reached up patting down his hair running a finger across his bottom lip.

"Before we get too carried away we should stop. I was enjoying that a lot, but I just got you back in my life...their will be plenty of time for that."

He giggled blushing. "Papi! Shut up I'm hungry ."

I smiled. "I missed that laugh and those dimples. What do you want to eat? I'll order takeout."

"Anything is fine Papi. Can we cuddle and watch movies?"

I pecked his lips. "You look so good in my clothes. You know .. what gun wants he gets."

"You damn right, now order my food."

I laughed. Yeah I was always whipped for this little one glad I got my second chance... I wasn't letting anything take him away from me again.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for killing Tay ... its just a story !! love you Tay . I want to edit and rewrite this so BAD lcsajnfjdkaj lmao but I shall move on!


End file.
